My friend and I decided to take a trip to London for some
exhibitions. We usually do this in the summer but this time we decided to stay
for a few days and spread everything out. Four exhibitions over three days
seemed doable but I have recently struggled with my back and already cancelled
a holiday to Cornwall so it was a bit touch and go. One thing we forgot to do
was book assistance. Usually we book a ticket with East Midlands but this time
it was cheaper to go with the Trainline so there was no button to book
assistance. We meant to ring East Midlands to see if we could book anyway, but
the weeks went past quickly and we forgot all about it until it was too late.
We reached London without too much incident, bar a very late
train and almost missing our connection. We had been standing around for over
half an hour on the station and this tired us out. At King’s Cross we reached
the taxi queue and instead of queuing in 4 lanes like they were supposed too,
people were all in one line in lane 4 causing traffic chaos outside the station
as cabs queued into the normal carriageway. If people queue in 4 lanes, cabs
can do 4 pick-ups at once reducing disruption on the road and time queuing. We
stood in lane 1 and asked if anyone wanted to come across because they could
use all 4 lanes. No one said anything and just stared at us. We even said we
couldn't queue for a long time because we were disabled but nothing, so we just
stood at the front of lane 1 and took a cab at the same time as queue 4. Then
people wanted to speak and one old man started yelling that we were taking his
cab. He was elderly, very well dressed and looked a bit ‘well to do’. He
shouted ‘fat bitch’ at me and my friend shouted ‘HOW RUDE!’ in a really loud
voice as we took off in the cab. The cab driver was great he told us not to
worry because nobody uses it properly and it just causes confusion. Knowing
that we were using it in the right way and had offered people the chance to
join us still didn't stop the shock at being name called. I've written a lot
about fat before so it doesn't really bother me as an insult; still no one
likes being called names in public!
After checking-in we went off to Tate Modern to see the
Matisse exhibition. This was my friend’s treat and she was really enjoying
herself, but these exhibitions are difficult. They are held in vast spaces with
very few sitting areas, usually filled with people sketching or elderly people
resting. We noticed a few people with fold out stools and realised they would
be a great addition to our kit! The interesting thing about the exhibit was
that it was on Matisse’s cut-outs, a phase of his work where he was using a
wheelchair. The smaller cuttings were easy enough to do but for the larger
pieces he had to employ ingenious techniques such as using the walls of his
house as a canvas by sticking things up there using a long stick or brush.
Eventually he had two assistants helping him and just told them where to place
the pieces. It was an interesting lesson in how someone could continue their
life’s work despite disability. The tendency to capture fluidity and motion in
his work was a stark contrast to his own stiffness and immobility.
We followed this bit of culture with a special tea at The
Sanderson, a hotel we've never been to before. I have to add that all of this
travelling to and from has to be done in cabs. Both of us suffer vertigo on the
underground, beside which it is so busy and we can’t stand, as well as the fact
that in the summer it is far too hot down there to cope with. This adds up
quickly so any saving for these trips has to take cabs into account. The tea
was a Mad Hatter’s Tea, but we were a little early so first we were taken to
the bar to have a cocktail. The bar was a big island in the middle of the room
with tall bar stools that had a heavily made up eye on the back of them. I
figured that if I could just use my good leg to push off and put my bad leg on
the spells I would be okay. Yet I realised half way through the manoeuvre that
I don’t actually have a good leg and the leg on the spell would be the one
pushing. No amount of swapping legs would do and I had to think out the manoeuvre
way more than should be necessary. All my efforts only succeeded in pushing my
bum in the air and stomach on the seat! On a last precarious attempt I had to
trust that the bar stool would stay in one place and I heaved myself up using
my arms to lean on the bar and just hope it got my bum high enough to reach the
stool. Luckily it did, just, and then I had to do a shuffle backwards. The only
problem with this was that I was now a good foot away from the bar, so I had to
wobble backwards and forwards moving the stool to the bar an inch at a time to
prevent me falling off the edge. Dawn French could not have done it better! A
quick look around soon showed me that this was a place for business men and
beautiful, young women with hair down to their bottoms and no hair anywhere
else. They were immaculately groomed and could actually sit down onto a bar
stool rather than having to climb it in a fashion that would suggest we were
being asked to climb Everest. This was not a place for slightly tired, 40
somethings who were a little bit sweaty after a three hour journey and two cab
rides with a long art exhibition in between. We consoled ourselves with a very
strong cocktail and a game of pick out the prostitute (the one with a man twice
her age, too well turned out for the afternoon, who only drank half a glass of
champagne before disappearing upstairs for 45 minutes then leaving again).
The Mad Hatter’s Tea was marvellous. We sat out in the open
air under huge umbrellas with a little water garden and candles behind us. We
were presented with a tray holding four ornate glass bottles that we were
invited to sniff and choose our tea. The tea was served in a Red Queen tea pot
with matching milk jug and sugar in a small girl’s jewelry box including tiny
ballerina. The menu was pasted inside an antique book and we were served with
tiny rolled sandwiches, mini savoury tarts and scones, miniature fruit scones
with jam and cream, then a tiny ‘drink me’ bottle complete with straw
containing a mango and passion fruit drink. The confectionery looked adorable;
there was a tick-tock Victoria Sponge, a mini Chocolate teacup filled with
white chocolate mousse and flowers, then a cheesecake with an amazing rainbow
striped white chocolate covering, plus marshmallow toadstools and meringue
carrots served with pea shoots. It was very fantastical, and the staff could
not do enough to help us. We took our leftovers back to the hotel and finished
tea in our pyjamas because we were so tired from the long day. It was an
experience not to be missed – apart from their bar stools!
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