Having been in hospital for a while now I started to notice things that really piss me off. I am not going to moan about the care I received, because actually that was pretty good. It was the other patients and their behaviour that drove me crazy. I am beginning to think there should be a new NHS directive specifically for the behaviour of patients. In the same way I want to tell the world at large that leggings are not trousers, I want to tell hospital patients what is and isn't acceptable.
1. If you are on a hospital admissions unit you must be ill, or have been deemed ill enough to take up a hospital bed, so use it! If you are never on the ward because you are having coffee with friends upstairs in the canteen or walking outside for a fag to the extent that you miss meal times and drug rounds you do NOT need a hospital bed. I needed drugs so I stayed put for the drug round for two reasons; I wanted my pain relief desperately, and by doing it when the nurse was available for that purpose she could assess me and I wasn't bothering her half an hour later for drugs.
2. If you are guilty of the above offence not only do you not require a hospital bed, but you do not need morphine. Morphine is administered for extreme pain and sometimes requires the time and signature of two nurses. After four hours I needed my morphine. I did not require it 6 hours later, when I had done the run of the hospital, fetched my own sweets and magazines and had lunch in the café.
3. Just because all beds have their own phone does not mean you can make or take calls at any time of the day or night, It might be nice for you to ring your kinds at 7am and wish them a good day at school but it is not good for the person in the bed next door who needs their sleep because they are sick. Nor do I need to hear tearful late night phone calls to partners who are drunk and in the pub rather than visiting their other half - this is nothing to do with me, or the rest of the ward at 11pm.
4. In hospital it is best for everyone to wear pyjamas or as concession nightdresses that reach the floor. Mixed sex wards were stopped for the privacy and dignity of the patient, but the hospital seems to have forgotten that people of all ages and sexes are visiting wards. T-shirts, no matter how long, are not for hospital wards unless you like the fact that everyone can see your knickers as you climb into bed or walk with the physio. Neither do my visitors want to see confused old ladies who have uncovered all their blankets and are lying with their nightshirt just under their boobs. This is not dignified - and I know there are nursing reasons for shorter nightshirts but surely not being confronted with a geriatric fanny every 5 minutes is within my rights as a patient.
5. There are some nursing tasks that should not be carried out within visiting hours unless its an emergency. Hearing an old lady being told she should push because 'there's plenty up there' is not something visitors want to hear or smell.
6. An addendum to No 5 really is the age old phrase 'don't shit where you eat'. I have followed it, but this is not something the NHS are aware of. If someone needs the loo at mealtimes, they should be wheeled to a toilet. While I am eating my mince and unrecognisable vegetables I do not want to hear someone straining to poo through a thin curtain - nor do I want to smell the results.
7. In a hospital you are being cared for and you are being fed. Okay so it may not be the best food in the world but I've tasted worse and I am not well enough to make my own. There are loads of choices and willingness to make you something off the menu if you ask. If breakfast is served at 8am, eat at 8am. Do not say you are not hungry, but then want toast made specially for you at 10.30am when they are serving tea and coffee. Nor should you leave your tea, then ask for a snack at 9pm. This sort of crap means nurses are not nursing which is what they should be doing. While you are getting toast someone else is laying in pain or unable to get to a toilet. I know hospital works on its own time frame but it has to, because wards full of patients having what they want when they want it would mean a ratio of one nurse to every three patients.
8. This is very simple. Your TV is provided with headphones for a reason - use the bloody things!
9. When you pay for a TV package take advantage of all that it offers because it is expensive. It has a radio, so no one needs to bring in their own which has no headphones. More importantly it has a telephone and the telephone allows you to ring places free of charge. It is not a nurses job to ring your other half and ask him to bring the pair of pyjamas at the bottom of the right hand drawer in the white cupboard in your spare bedroom. Similarly, it is not her job to stand around and wait for your answer to the question 'should he bring anything in' while you go through your locker and check out numbers of nighties, soap and chocolate.
10. Finally, we all know words and understaffed and have the concept of the 'nurse's minute', but wouldn't it be more honest and better all round for staff to be honest. Saying 'I'll be with you in a minute' or 'just a second' is just begging for a patient to ring a bell continuously. Far better surely to say 'I am up to my ears, I'll be about twenty minutes, is that ok or is it an emergency?' or to explain what they're actually dealing with - usually a very poorly person- so that the patient can see the perspective of what nurses are dealing with on the ward.
Basically, real life is not like Casualty. There are not nurses and doctors willing or able to talk to you for hours about your life, sort out your problems and bring your family back together in the space of 50 minutes. In other countries relatives are expected to provide food for their relatives while in hospital and in places like Haiti people are being treated in the open air or in tents. We need to gain some perspective and patience, while staff need to treat each patient with kindness, understanding and explain why they can't carry out requests that really aren't their job!
No comments:
Post a Comment